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The First Album Ever

by IDLE VALLEY

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tehya
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tehya man, I hate weezer, but this shit rips <3 legendary record!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love every song!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Favorite track: Fujimoto.
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    "The First Album Ever" by Idle Valley available on CD. Professionally made, limited to 100 copies. Comes with lyric sheet. All artwork by Alex Burghart

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1.
Dying Early 03:36
I’m itchy and I’m losing hair It burns when I pee My joints all feel so broken Like someone curb-stomped my knees And they’re upping up the dosage Flick the needle and inject My eyes are glazing over The list of side-effects ‍ I’m losing all my vision And the money on my card They want me in an ambulance But i’ll just drive my car Cause insurance doesn’t cover that It barely covers this I’m on 20 medications Cause I don’t want to risk ‍ Dying Early Dying Early Dying Early Dying Early ‍ I picked out my own casket And my funeral attire A big old wooden basket Where I will soon retire And I’m thinking about cremation But I can’t handle heat Makeup and a tracksuit And some Timbs on my feet ‍ I’m Dying Early Dying Early Dying Early Dying Early ‍ Well I didn’t go to medical school Cause it's just a fancy building with a ton of rooms And a ton of books with really long words And I’d tell you all about it but I’d get so fucking bored That I wanna punch every dude with a degree Just cause I know they’re smarter than me ‍ And I don’t take the time to look it up online Cause it’s gonna say that I’m running out of time Cause a scratch on my knee looks like cancer to them Don’t ever ask the internet or I’ll be condemned
2.
Girlfriend 02:54
I got a girlfriend, but you don’t know her I got a girlfriend, but she goes to a different school I got a girlfriend, and no you can’t hold her I got a girl, and she’s my world, I love my girl ‍ I got a girlfriend, but she lives in another state I got a girlfriend, and we go on lots of dates We go to Target, and Lucy’s, and Cain’s Ballroom I got a girl, and she’s my world, I love my girl ‍ My girl steals T-shirts right from off my back My girl’s got her eyeliner and her nails are painted black My girl’s got everything you could want But she’s mine buddy, you better take a walk ‍ I got a girlfriend, and she’s a lesbian She says that I’m the only man that ever can I’m kinda girly and she digs that she’ll help do my hair She’ll paint my nails, and I’ll paint hers, I love my girl
3.
Museum 02:54
I can’t work at a museum, cause I’ll touch the paintings and I couldn’t work for UPS, cause I’ll read your mail and I can’t be a fancy chef, cause I’ll eat your food and Don’t ask me about success, cause I haven’t seen none ‍ I’m a radio that’s only got one station I’m a ratio that doesn’t belong in this equation Oh don’t you know, it’s all about persuasion And I’m persuading you, to take me back home ‍ I couldn’t ever be a nurse, cause I’m way too squeamish and I couldn’t ever be a coach, cause I’m not a leader I’m not a super famous athlete man, I’m always last place and Never gonna be an army man for the United States ‍ I’m a radio that’s only got one station I’m a ratio that doesn’t belong in this equation Oh don’t you know, it’s all about persuasion And I’m persuading you, to take me back home
4.
5.
Gettin' Paid 02:13
Eight ‘o’ clock, clock in, I’m here for the day And I spend a couple hours on my ten minute break And I hotbox in the freezer, turn it into a lake And I’ll do a couple bumps just to stay awake ‍ I’m gettin’ paid Get paid today For two weeks work, work, work, work I’m gettin’ paid ‍ Oh yeah, there’s Debra She makes the schedule Oh tell me what to do and for you Babe you know I’ll get it done ‍ And then there’s Honey She counts the money Oh I take half and she takes half And we both go home very happy ‍ I’m gettin’ paid Get paid today For two weeks work, work, work, work I’m gettin’ paid I’m gettin’ paid I’m gettin’ paid I’m gettin’ paid ‍ I’m gettin’ paid Get paid today For two weeks work, work, work, work I’m gettin’ paid ‍ I’m gettin’ paid I’m gettin’ paid I’m gettin’ paid I’m gettin’ paid
6.
Yellow Teeth 02:53
I’ve got the yellowest teeth out of all my friends I don’t know what to believe, so I just pretend I try to look real deep, but I look dumb instead I don’t know what I’ll achieve by just sitting in bed ‍ But I’m tired, and I need this sleep My brain is burning out, I’ve had a real long week I need some rest, and I need some weed I wanna sit here and watch T.V. And lay there smiling all alone ‍ How long is too long? How long is too long? How long is too long? I got yellow teeth, that’s the name of the song ‍ I’m never too late, but I’m never on time I spend half my day at work, and the rest online Because there’s nothing else to do to help pass the time But then I’m on it too long and it hurts my eyes ‍ I’m by myself, I’ve had a real long day I wanna sit here and just press play I’ve got my Hulu, and my DVDs There’s nothing else here I could ever need Except some popcorn and some beer ‍ How long is too long? How long is too long? How long is too long? I got yellow teeth, that’s the name of the song
7.
Pool Party 02:34
Pool party, my place, eight ‘o’ clock tonight We got Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and some Busch Light We’ll have joints and burgers grilling, Dr. Pepper and some Sprite Sexy ladies wearing shorts and hot dudes wearing tights ‍ I said my parents out of town, so we gotta do this right This is gonna be the greatest fucking party of my life I never learned how to backflip, but I’ll learn how to tonight So I can jump into the pool from my roof from ten feet high ‍ Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place ‍ I said I got some brand new trunks and I wanna show them off I said I got SPF 50 and a brand new beach ball I got cases of cold beer and a freshly cleaned bong Everybody hears about it and they all wanna come along ‍ Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place ‍ The cops come in, try to shut us down Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place ‍ We’ll shove them in, and they will drown Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place ‍ Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place Oooh, pool party at my place Go suck a dick
8.
Fujimoto 02:43
Fujimoto, Fujimoto, I don’t wanna be a fish Can’t the evil wizard grant me this wish I wanna be a real girl with real hair I want hands and feet, I don’t want scales ‍ Sorry for leaving my sisters back home Cause we all came from the same seafoam Got me out the bottle, gotta thank you for that I know when you found me I must’ve been a brat ‍ Running round the sea, tryna find the green pail Remember where I found it up on the big hill I miss my best friend that lives on top And I hope his daddy comes back from the dock ‍ All I really know is I just wanna stick with you Your house is really warm, your mom makes good food Sorry for scaring you with those waves I just want you to come out and play ‍ I don’t wanna be a fish, I don’t wanna be I don’t wanna be a fish, I don’t wanna be I don’t wanna be a fish, I don’t wanna be I don’t wanna be a fish, I don’t wanna be
9.
Monopoly 01:35
I always keep some money in my pocket 20 orange bills filling up my wallet For when my friends wanna play monopoly ‍ I don’t know the rules well, I don’t pay attention I always pick the race car, there is no exception Danny got the battleship, and Aaron’s kinda sad he got the boot ‍ What can you do Oh what can you do What can you do What can you do ‍ Playing Seinfeld clue, somebody killed Newman Wager on Jerry, he’s the type to do it Hit him on the head with a label maker in his apartment ‍ Playing blackjack on GTA 5 online I wish all my virtual money was the real kind Cause then I’d easily be the richest man in the whole world ‍ But what can you do Oh what can you do What can you do What can you do What can you do What can you do What can you do What can you do What can you do?
10.
To-Do List 02:29
I wanna check off another check On my to-do list Today is a mighty fine day To do it ‍ Because I’m doing the laundry, and doing the dishes I’m folding my clothes so please don’t start bitchin’ Gonna check off another check on my to-do list, yeah ‍ Well I wake up in the morning time To get stuff done Now I gotta go work my job No time for fun ‍ Because I hate this fucking place But I gotta pay the bills And someday I know i’ll be in Beverly Hills But I’m crossing off another box, one by one, yeah ‍ Everything I’ve been putting off I’ve been waiting for far too long ‍ Everything I’ve been putting off I’ve been waiting for far too long ‍ Everything I’ve been putting off I’ve been waiting for far too long ‍ Everything I’ve been putting off I’ve been waiting for far too long
11.
Cowboy Song 03:20
I’m colorblind, and I got IBS And my hair is turning grey From anxiety and stress And it’s greasy too, cause I’m out of shampoo I’ve been using all my bar soap But it can’t seem to cut through It's got me flaky, wherever I may go I leave a trail of snow And I smell like tobacco So let me lay here Sitting in the bathroom Staring in the mirror Like I’m on some acid If you don’t mind Wasting my time ‍ I never shave my mustache It's still just barely there I think that it’s unfair, that my lips can’t grow no hair But I save on razors, don’t need no shaving cream To keep my face all clean, don’t need no skin routine Though I’ve got pimples, and zits all on my face Proactiv makes you wait but I can’t wait another day I’m sick of it I’m sick of this ‍ So I’ll cut my hair At the end of the day I don’t really care I just wanna look a different way ‍ I just wanna look a different way (hey, hey, hey) I just wanna look a different way (hey, hey, hey) I just wanna look a different way (hey, hey, hey) I just wanna look a different way

credits

released April 20, 2024

thank you to Ian Garrett from the awesome band Midnight Wagon for recording, producing, and mixing. He took all of these songs to an entirely new level when we were in the studio. Thank you immensely, Ian. we love you.

thank you to Alex burghart for photographing our sets, helping us with Merch, and designing our artwork. He always understands exactly what I'm thinking, but always adds elements that make the artwork pop. Thanks for sticking with us so long, Alex :) we love you

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IDLE VALLEY Bentonville, Arkansas

fuzz pop rock stars from northwest arkansas

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